We do not know if you are a boy or a girl but we love you and we miss you. We never got to hear your sweet heartbeat. Never got to see your little Marshall nose or count your toes. Never got to hear that sweet sweet cry. You were born straight into all of heaven’s glory. No pain, no sadness, no sin, and no loneliness. Born straight into God’s perfect creation never to be cold, hungry, or without the Lord’s love or presence.
Free from this fallen world. You are free to praise and worship day and night. Jesus is your light sweet one. There is nothing to distract you or get in the way. A full life of perfection and no memory of here but I pray you know me, know us and the love we have for you and how we so wanted you as a part of our family.
The days and weeks after we lost you were spent in much prayer. Constant fervent prayer for answers as to why this had happened. Seeking His will for how to cope and move forward. Praying for healing and answers, not only for me and Tommy but for the kids as well. They hurt too and didn’t understand. They knew Mama was sad and Mama cried alot and stayed in her room. They would come in and check in on me. Bring me food and drink. We shared many hours on my bed just talking, praying, crying, and trying to get through another day. Gwen took it the hardest of the four, our little caregiver, tenderhearted girl. She cried as much as I did.
They know that you are with Jesus now in heaven and I pray they are never afraid to talk about you. I pray that I am never afraid to talk about you and your impact on my life. Through your short life, I have learned what it truly means to seek the Lord and wait on Him. To love Him. To worship and praise Him for ALL that He has done for me and our family and continues to do.
God definitely gave us way more than we could handle. We had to lean on Him and each other just to live. We needed Him more than we had ever needed Him and He showed up in a big way.
Oh, how I long for the day when Jesus comes back to get us and take us home.
Mama misses you sweet baby. Mama misses you.
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. 2 Corinthians 3:17